The trouble with guilt is that we can all feel it innocent or not. It can strike at random and be difficult to recognise. It makes you feel just horrible, low and stressed. It can be useful, justified or unjustified but the affects can be damaging to both our physical and psychological health.
It comes down to our hormones. Our nervous system is connected to the immune system so how we feel affects what hormones our body's choose to release.
When we're happy we release endorphins which foster feelings of well-being and pleasure.
But when we're worried or anxious we release hormones like cortisol which depletes your body's resources and over long periods can lead to anxiety, depression and mental and physical illness.
Outside Perspective
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| Sigmund Freud |
Sigmund Freud, the forefather of psychoanalysis, said that guilt was the result of the struggle between the ego and the super-ego. The ego and the super-ego along with the Id make up the psyche according to Freud.
The Id is the impulsive unconscious part, which seeks pleasure. The super-ego relates to morals and is incapable of accepting excuses for anything below its moral standards and the ego is the rational balance seeker between the Id and the super-ego.
Looking at it like this we can easily understand that guilt is a natural thing that assists us in our journey to find balance. Anyone who doesn't experience guilt or remorse would be considered a psychopath or sociopath suffering from ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).
A huge issue when it comes to resolving guilt can be identifying if what you are dealing with is "False Guilt" or "Existential Guilt". False guilt being basically the false belief that what you feel must be real, therefore if you feel guilty you must be. Dr Lynne Logan of Orange County does a lot of work on the subject of denial versus reality and helps people identify if they are feeling unjustly guilty (false guilt) or existential guilt, based on behaviour that actually exists and harm or wrong doing actually done or committed against another.
Another issue is knowing when that guilt is good for us. Evolutionary psychologists theorise that guilt is an evolutionary tool developed to foster reciprocal altruism and forgiveness and believe that without any guilt or shame we would not live in a civilised society where we feel too ashamed not to 'do the right thing' as it were. So if you have behaved poorly, dishonestly or mistreated someone chances are your conscience is making you feel awful about it, encouraging you not to make such choices next time around.
Our natural instincts and defences against guilt can make us respond in a number of ways where we might repress, project, rationalise, direct blame or outright deny responsibility or involvement.
Experts put forward a number of suggestions on how to remedy guilty feelings from seeking fair punishment or forgiveness for ones actions to simply recognising and analysing the mistake or behaviour so as not to repeat it or even letting time heal till the feeling dissipates.
Whatever you do choose to try, do establish whether the guilt you feel is real and just or if it is false guilt. Recognition can banish false guilt in an instant, but be careful not to deceive yourself through any of our natural defence mechanisms already mentioned.
Personally Speaking
For me guilty feelings can jump out of seemingly nowhere, but I've learnt to recognise the symptoms.
I tend to feel sombre and moody for no reason. I get restless and distracted - as though my subconscious was trying to get my attention.
So now I've learned to give it my attention and recognise these feelings as guilt.
Once I know what I'm feeling 'guilt' I have to scan my mind to see what situations I might be feeling bad about (this requires real honesty - there can't be room for shame about facing my behaviour or feelings if I'm truly going to resolve the feelings).
When I have identified the situation or behaviour that is bothering me I review it;
- Sometimes I have to take responsibility or apologise for what I said or did.
- Sometimes I have to accept that I was unable to prevent/change the situation.
- Sometimes I see that I truly believe in the action or behaviour I engaged in and realise I have to try not to worry about the perceived judgments or repercussions
or
- I may realise the guilt was unwarranted false guilt and I was unnecessarily worrying about how I may have come across or my simply misremembering events.
It's certainly not a wonder cure but this method dispels my guilty feeling and keeps the cortisol at bay.
Conclusion
In conclusion guilt can be damaging. With numerous causes and being difficlut to detect it can be hard knowing where to start dealing with guilt.
But for the sake of your health and happiness you must pay more attention to situations or behaviour that leaves you feeling down and see whether your guilt is real or if you are worrying needlessly over something small or non-existent.
Take the first steps to resolving your issues of guilt and try to avoid repeating behaviour that leads you to these guilty feelings in the first place, after all prevention is better than cure!
See the following links and videos for help dealing with guilt and further information as well as checking out all the keyword links in the article.
Please feel free to share your stories or ideas about guilt or on any other subject covered by this blog.
Temet
nosce, carpe diem et esto perpetua.
Know thyself, seize the day and may it be perpetual.
Leah xx
